I got a few emails yesterday asking me about this poll. DailyKos/Research 2000 was checking how strong Utah senator Robert Bennett looked in his upcoming 2010 Senate race, and for reasons known only to them, they decided to poll two names: popular House Democrat Jim Matheson and, um, mine.

They call me a “sleeper candidate.” Yes, so deeply asleep that even I didn’t know I might run! But it’s true that I have been having blackouts and nightmares about Mother lately whenever I start a nice game of solitaire…

Apparently Utah is such a red state that all you have to do there is not register as a Republican (I’m pretty sure I declared no party affiliation last time I registered there) and national polls will start running your name up the flagpole. I don’t even live in the state anymore and I’m still the second-most attractive candidate! (Well, not very attractive. Bob Bennett would beat me by 36 points if the election were held today. But I am doing well with women and Canadian game show hosts.) Still, check out those impressive favorables! Sarah Palin would kill for an 83% “No Opinion.” (I mean literally kill, probably some kind of elk or caribou or wapiti, if those are real animals.)

I don’t know if Kos knows this, but it is true that I fielded some phone calls from Senate party leaders in 2005, wondering if I’d want to run for Orrin Hatch’s seat. Why not? You were on a game show! I thought this was a pretty sad sign for American democracy, but did think it would be funny if I ran. I could announce, not on Larry King or Meet the Press, but on Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader? I’d hate campaigning, but just try to stump me with questions about world capitals or the last books I read, Katie Couric!

So, sorry, DailyKos. I’ve decided to bow out of the election before even announcing, in order to spend more time with my family. (And when I say “with my family,” I mean, “screwing around on the Internet.”) Your next poll will have to replace me with some Utah American Idol finalist, or maybe that Mormon guy on Real World this year. He’s probably a Democrat…or would be willing to run as one, since the Utah Republican Party drops you like a rock once you’ve been caught on-camera hot-tubbing with teh gays. Believe me, I know.