I’d never listened to the public radio language show A Way with Words, but the web page makes it sound like it’s been laboratory-engineered to be my favorite thing ever. Also, I’m the latest contestant in their weekly “slang quiz.” Go have a listen and see how I do.

You ever find yourself in the middle of telling someone a little story and slowly become convinced that you have told this same person the same anecdote, probably very recently? This has happened to me a couple times in the last few weeks and I always feel like an idiot. The victim has politely pretended from the start not to recognize the retold story, but you’re starting to see the lie in his/her eyes. If you interrupt yourself to explain your deja vu or ask if you’ve already covered this conversational ground with them, they are now stuck being polite. They have to mumble and dissemble and be noncommittal. Trapped. You’re stuck as well, stuck in the dead-end story, forced to limp to a finish, like a lame duck president. Everybody’s stuck.

My theory is that everyone’s etiquette is wrong here. The listener can’t pretend. Stop that story as soon as you can! “Is this the story about the guy next to you on the plane who kept eating strips of bacon out of his carry-on? We talked about this at lunch a couple weeks ago.” Shut it down. The teller will appreciate your honesty. Soften the blow by telling them what a funny/moving/whatever anecdote you thought it was.

In other words, if I ever bore you twice with the same story, I want your tough love. I don’t want you to think I’m senile at 35, some talkative old guy cycling through the same three stories on a daily basis. I mean, I might be that guy, but how am I going to know if everyone just smiles and nods?