Have you heard of these “Twilight” books? I don’t know much about them, but apparently the second one was a giant hit at the weekend box office! Weird that none of my friends have seen it…

I’ll try to catch you up, based on what I gather from the trailers: these are movies about this girl named Bella, who moves to go to high school in dreary rural Washington State. The totally hot boy in her class turns out to be a vampire! Then in the sequel, after he takes off or something, this other totally hot boy turns out to be a werewolf!

Nobody asked me, but I love this idea of chaste teen romance novels involving old Universal Studios monsters! Let me give you my prediction for the third movie: Bella must choose between these two flames and a third contender, a quiet, sensitive transfer student with big bolts on his neck. But will she find out he’s a Frankenstein?!? This would be awesome. I would totally be on “Team Frank.”

I guess if there’s a fourth movie it could be a mummy. Or am I missing a better option? Better go review my Munsters…