I had to run out earlier on an emergency pint-of-whipped-cream run. The line of tents was already set up outside Best Buy! Like sixteen hours early!

Every year, like all right-thinking Americans, I am mystified by “Black Friday” and the priests who officiate at its early-morning rites. Dude, that’s great that you’re going to save $85 on that Blu-Ray player, but, uh, you spent sixteen hours of your “holiday” sitting out in the cold to get that deal. What’s your hourly rate for that?

Mindy points out that some of these people enjoy the hassle. I scam the DVD counters at Barnes & Noble; others want to sit outside Best Buy all day on Thanksgiving. So who am I to pooh-pooh their fun? I also suspect that many of them have an elaborate arbitrage system built around reselling their 5 a.m. buys at a hefty holiday profit, though I’ve never actually met anyone who does this.

On the same errand, I passed a gas station/convenience store that was advertising its new breakfast burritos. The sign said “BREAKFAST BURRITOS! Two/$2. Taste it twice!”

I’m sure they meant well, but “Taste it twice!” is not really the slogan you want to use for your microwaved breakfast burritos. I’ve eaten convenience-store food a time or two, and “tasting it twice,” though par for the course, is not really something you ever look forward to.