I had long missed the polysyllabic “Meredith Baxter-Birney” of my youth (sha-la-la-laaaaa…) and the way it tripped off the tongue, the twin trochaic stomps of “Baxter” and “Birney” punctuating the carefree dactyl of her first name. So I always secretly hoped she could find true hyphenated bliss again, perhaps with one of the following.

Midlevel-bureaucrat-character actor Herny Czerny

Journey

But now we know it will never be.