Does Abe Vigoda do his own stunts? You know Betty White does, because she is some kind of ageless robot. Come on, do you know any 105-year-olds who are pretty good Password players? When I play board games with people a generation older than me, it becomes clear that the “game neurons” in your brain all die off at the same time the day you turn fifty.

Wow, the controversial Tom Tebow ad is the softest sell of all time. I guess Focus on the Family figures they got their money worth with all the meta-hype around the ad, so they didn’t even have to mention abortion in the ad itself. (In that sense, it’s sort of like those content-free “We wasted millions!” Super Bowl ads that popped up during the first dotcom bubble. The point is the price of the ad, not anything in it.) I wonder if Focus on the Family remembers that most Americans watching the game have never read a paper or news website in their lives and will have no idea that the meta-controversy even happened. I wonder what those viewers thought the ad was for. Some kind of MLM product that the Tebows are hawking?

I don’t care what Phil Simms says: Payton’s going for it on fourth and goal was a terrible call. You’re only down 10-3! And wow, are Nantz and Simms the most boring team in broadcasting or what? They are Wonder Bread in sportscaster form.

Have to admire Simms for sticking with his approval of the gutsy call, though, even after it didn’t work. Typically football commentary is all about 20-20 hindsight. This is a good call, because it worked! That identical call was bad, because it didn’t work! All these guys should have to take some undergrad econ and statistics courses.

If the Leno-Letterman shocker was the ad highlight of the night for you like it was for me, check out this astonishingly detailed New York Times piece on its top-secret making. Uh, couldn’t this have been put together digitally for a fraction of the time/cost that all these corporate jet trips cost? The Times doesn’t go into Leno’s possible motivations for recording a high-profile ad for his competition, but it isn’t hard to guess: he wants to be perceived as “Nice Guy Jay” again despite his recent antics. Uh, that ship might have sailed, Jay.

Dylan, during the anemic-sounding halftime set by The Who: “When does the Super Bowl start again? Because this…is terrible.”

Okay, love the onside kick call. But only because it worked! Otherwise it would have been a terrible idea.

These GoDaddy ads are sapping my will to live. So they don’t hire an advertising agency? They just let the boss’s son (or some other untalented person with a Danica Patrick fetish) write and shoot the spots? Super Bowl ads are all about the high-concept twist, you idiots. Like if you set up that Danica Patrick’s going to come out in a tight T-shirt…and then Dan Patrick comes out instead. Now that’s an ad!

Holy cow, Tracy Porter is fast. On my screen he shows up like a blurry drybrush tornado, a la the Tasmanian Devil. That is ball game, ladies and gentlemen.