Last year, I pondered Jude Law’s new job description as Michael Caine remake fill-in. I asked if readers could think of someone else who’d replaced the same actor twice; no one really had anything.

But I just discovered yesterday that Hector Elizondo took the Alan Arkin part in two consecutive failed TV series: 1976’s Popi and 1980’s Freebie and the Bean. The best part is he could do it again! He’s totally right for the part in a wacky Little Miss Sunshine TV show. Bring it on, ABC.

Remember when Buzz Aldrin socked that guy in the jaw because he was pretending to be an interviewer from Japanese TV but he was really just a conspiracy crank hectoring Buzz to admit that the Apollo missions were all faked on a soundstage? That was awesome.

Last night, during the commercial break in a pretty great Lost, I came up with my own moon-landing-style conspiracy theory, this one regarding the svelte, sexy “Jared” of Subway ad fame. I know each of you probably has your own Jared conspiracy theory (CGI Jared, lipo Jared, twin brother Jareds, etc.) but mine is simpler: they filmed all these ads, years of ads and potential ads and clips, years ago, when he first lost the weight and became their spokesman. He immediately put all the weight back on, of course, but now they have decades of Jared in the can. It’ll get creepy in a few years when everyone notices he’s not aging.

Maybe I should be more like the rest of the Internet and put this energy into my Lost theories instead of focusing on the ads. Um, okay. Jared probably has four toes. Go run with that.

If you’re a fan of my friend Earl’s from his appearance in Brainiac, you’ll be happy to hear that he and his wife Judi had their first baby (London Grace) on Monday. Congrats Earl!