A few months back I unleashed an avalanche of comment by posting a list of ten (fairly obscure) movie quotes that often come in handy in real-life situations.

Having read over the weekend that Mitt Romney is also a fan of the well-deployed movie quote, albeit in slightly confused Romneyesque fashion (scroll to the bottom) I thought now would be the time for a follow-up list. Ten more movie quotes for all occasions.

1. “I’ll alert the media.” The long-suffering John Gielgud’s response to Arthur’s stated desire to take a bath, in Arthur. Useful when: anyone turns some fairly small, private thought into a full-fledged announcement. “This shirt is missing a button!” “I’ll alert the media.”
2. “Bacon tastes good. Pork chops taste good.” John Travolta defending the consumption of pork to Samuel L. “the pig is a filthy animal” Jackson in Pulp Fiction. Useful when: eating any pork product. Except headcheese (which doesn’t taste good).
3. “Turn the key, sir.” The missile silo guys in the opening to WarGames. (Fun fact: they’re actually Michael Madsen and John Spencer. I know!) Useful when: I don’t work in a Titan missile silo, but Dylan and I do wind the grandfather clock in the living room every Saturday morning. He opens the glass door, and then I wind the face. Two keys, you do the math.
4. “You are all…weirdos.” Sam the Eagle, not getting the joke in The Great Muppet Caper. Useful when: keeping your head when all about you are losing theirs. Replaces: “That is one…nutty…hospital.” Bill Murray, enjoying the big reveal in Tootsie.
5. “He’s a suitor!” One of George Clooney’s daughters explaining Holly Hunter’s plans to remarry in O Brother, Where Art Thou? She keeps repeating it, Coen-style. Useful when: any female acquaintance has a date, especially if she’s at all embarrassed by the fact. Optional follow-up: “He’s bona fide!”
6. “You call this a happy family? Why do we have to have all these kids?” Jimmy Stewart contemplates infanticide/suicide in that warm Christmas favorite It’s a Wonderful Life. Useful when: a parent, usually several times a day. And the Baileys had twice as many kids as I do!
7. “I’m a sailor. I sail.” Bill Murray, exulting in his new “skill” in What About Bob? Useful when: bragging about trying something for the first time, especially when it didn’t go well. “I’m a knitter. I knit.” “I’m a golfer. I golf.” “I’m a sushi eater. I eat sushi.” I think Bush may have been unconsciously echoing this line with that “decider” thing.
8. “Matthew Fox? You know what’s interesting about him? Nothing!” Seth Rogen, strangely bitter in Knocked Up. Useful when: disparaging any celebrity. Funnier for slightly random selections and has-beens (David Strathairn, say. Madeline Stowe) than for anyone you might have genuine vitriol against (Paris Hilton, etc.)
9. “Blocked. At every. Turn.” Jim Carrey, realizing that traffic is oddly synchronized on The Truman Show. Useful when: obstacles seem to crop up in your path in worst-case-scenario fashion, especially while driving. The universe is against you.
10. “DRAAAAAAINAGE!” Daniel Day-Lewis, from the worst bowling night ever in There Will Be Blood. Mindy has forbidden me from doing the “milkshake” thing, which is swiftly moving into catchphrase territory anyway, and is thus disqualified from the list. Useful when: draining the tub, turning on the disposal, cleaning rain gutters, etc. Also: when drinking (literally) someone’s milkshake. Especially if you plan to drink it up.

Re-reading these quotes, I realize that I could very easily have done an all-Bill Murray list. (If not-very-good 1980s comedies weren’t already overrepresented above.) Something about Murray’s delivery can make any sentence into a catchphrase. “Cats marrying dogs!” “It’s gonna be cold…it’s gonna be gray…” “For relaxing times, make it Suntory time.”

The final entry could be RZA’s “Yo, Billmurray!”–relentlessly calling him by his full name in Coffee and Cigarettes. This is the quote that leaps to mind whenever anyone calls me “Ken Jennings” more than once at a book signing. “Hey, Ken Jennings! Could you sign my book! Thanks Ken Jennings!”