- BUY some of those popular stunt memoirs, where authors wring a book out of their yearlong devotion to a silly gimmick that no one without a book deal would ever suffer through. Buy a lot of them. Buy 365 of them.
- CONSULT one book a day. Live according to its precepts for the next 24 hours. Spend Sunday saying “yes” to everything you’re offered. On Monday, start working through every sex position in the Kama Sutra, and on Tuesday, switch to a similar death march through all the recipes in The Joy of Cooking. On Wednesday, don’t use the Internet. On Thursday, buy things only on the Internet. On Friday, stick to organic food.
- REPEAT until you’re out of books.
- DESCRIBE the resulting wackiness in a 250-page manuscript. Give it a hilarious title like Stunted Growth: My Year Spent Obeying One Gimmicky Memoir Per Day.
- BUY several rakes of varying sizes for all the money you will be raking in when your book hits stores.
(I have no intention of writing this book, despite the obvious million-dollar-ness of the idea. Somebody jump in here.)